Right

Ok so spent the Thursday night in CCU , with snoring people around me.. the emidural was fab could not feel any pain.. but also could not feel my legs was fun. Mum and Jerry came to see me the night was high and happy ... on the morphine ...

Next morning visit from consultant and tribe about 10 people oh how popular am I .... they said they were really pleased with me and they we sending me to step down sounds like a dance step. A friend came in to see me and could not believe how well I looked... she also said that on Thursday afternoon at school some of the girls wanted to know if dance was on and if Mrs Cheetham would be in .. she said I was preoccupied I bet well should have explained to the surgeon I had a dance class to do.

Tubes in my neck, drains in my side, tubes in my arm and enough bandages where they had used me as a pin cushion... the anesthetist called to see me and asked how her favourite patient was doing. I bet she says that to everyone or it could have been my comedy act in recovery.

The other funny thing that happened was not fun on the persons behalf but from my point of view it was. Mum phoned my Uncle at work he was busy so left a message Natalie doing fine she is in CCU and you can visit.... got translated by the receptionist to your niece is in CCU and you need to go quick... you can imagine his surprise and mine as he dashes in and I  am trying to explain he needs to take his jacket of ... and the relief on his face when I am conscious.

Tubes down my throat of what a weird sessation... and the delight full new abendage my bag ( not named as yet)

Ok well enough for to night sleep is terrible at the minute and upside down also some god dam terrible dream sorry for blast feming  any way must try and get some sleep.... I will continue with my journey and my excirting life and adventures I am having (not... but enjoy)

Thanks and keep reading xx

OK OK

Right OK I know no blog since before the op but for of you out there wondering I am still alive... It has just been difficult.. the simplest things take for ever  I able to discus things but when I shut down to write them like finishing reports and that I can not do it.
Life is difficult and strange at the minute. Post op wise on the road to recovery.... Cancer wise as good as it gets at present so where do I begin well for those of you interested I suppose I should start post op.

Well 12 hours in the theatre ... not that I knew it...woke up in recovery thinking I had the biggest hands going as though I had those massive gloves you see at American football games... also felt like I had the biggest pair of rubber knickers a bit like the trousers that ice hockey player wear.... Then lying there talking to the nurses and anesthetist .. next the surgeon came out and I could here him trying to talk to someone else then I said I am over here..... He had gone in to the wrong area .. in charge as usual .... So about 10 o'clock at night I am wheeled out of the recovery room to see Mum and Jerry gowning up to come into CCU... and all I went on about was that they had broken my foot.. of course it was not broken just pressure sore .......ok I am going to go for a bath and will write some more later .

Thanks again for the silent support I hope you enjoy a snippet of my life . I will bring you upto date very quickly with the ups and down and perhaps what my future holds ... Love you all xxx

3rd Nov 12:00

Well still waiting to sign form , but have had a great creative chat with an ex teacher, while she was giving me a foot massage. Just to let you know she woke Jerry up out of the comfy chair, chance would be good if yoou could fall a sleep like he does.

Was writing letters last night and he thinks I am writing because I think I am going to die , no such luck he cannot pay the mortgage off yet or run of with the blonde to some hot country.

Sorry causing mischief as usual but it is keeping me entertained. no fit doctors come to see me yet , need to know if I can order food. Light food that's all. Not good when you are a veggie and they offer you meat soup.
So toast it is not that it is going to stay in their long after the medication. Waiting for stoma nurse to mark me up a long waiting day so more blocks should keep you and me entertained please comment so I can reply and have some fun.

Thanks to you all

Day before op 3rd Nov 10:30am

Well a busy few days, pre op assesment on Thursday what a long day that was I am sure they could organise it better but never mind what else do I have to do in my life hey.

Well fun weekend with family and friends and thank you to all the people that have been their for me over the past few months and for the continued support.

Wednesday 3rd November - Day before the operation, got most of my life paper work done some more things will be done to day now it is just the waiting game and preparation for tomorrow.
How am I feeling very scared had operations before I really feel I am stepping in to the unknown, this is the last part ... well sort of recovery will be a long long road with many a winding turn ... sorry for the song.

Up beat to the last and always. I will continue to post as much as I can through out today and then when I am up to it afterwards.

Great night last night with friends I never knew how many people I had touched and how well liked I was its either that or they are just trying to make sure that if I go they get something well news is not going yet and the only thing I have got is debt...lol ( please do not take this the wrong way anyone this is just my sense of humour).

Well I am here at the hospital oh what a boring starving day this is going to be..

Love to you all for now ..

10, 9, 8 days and counting

OK well only 10 days till the operation , well here we go. Pre op assessment today why these things take so long but if the organised them selves they could be quicker.

Monday went to see the consultant.. final decision the bag not the neo... all is well tumour starting to grow again so glad that its not long before it come out.. the bladder that is. How we know growth of tumour... this sounds discussting but just some info to keep you going until I can tell you all about the operation.

Urine dark red blood colour very nice well not really and the calcium deposits are back so that's a clear sign that is growing but seeing as did not have all these symptoms to start with its Ironinc I am having them now.

Care package in place for when I come out so Mum and Dad do not have to take all the strain.

Tuesday not sure what happened on that day obviouly not exciting mainly slept, did a movie afternoon with the youngest well it is halfterm. Wednesday another day of trying to complete things and finish CP stuff I am finding it so hard words are not flowing some devine intervention needed. New Bed settee for the spare bedroom so when required Mum and Dad can stay in comfort at least.

Thursday ... Hospital from 1pm till 5pm oh what an exciting life I lead. I am off out for a meal with the girls tonight and looking forward to it..

Well keep reading and please write back love to you all and for all the positive thoughts. I am also writing letters and notes to people request and hopes and things.

Love and Best wishes from the continual up beat fighter xxx

Well what next

Well I am still alive sorry not updated the blog for a while , been busy and been in hospital so oh what fun.
I am doing really well at the moment.. still trying to build my strength up. Been on a trip away and birthdays.

I have a date for the operation so on a count down to that still not made a decision on whether stoma or neo bladder . I am very nervous and scared about the operation , I do not have a choice if I want a better chance of survival. Well life changing decissions.... I have had a few break downs recently with emotions  as lots going on with what to do.

Edlest daughter is doing well at uni so one less thing to worry about. Sydney is growing up and becoming a star. Well I know its early but starting to think about Christmas and prearing things I can before the op... I am sure as usual my Mum will be a star and pick up the rains.

I had a dance teacher but I think she got a better offer ... I just wish people will be honest with me so that I can orgaise things but never mind hopefully will get it sorted.

I am also having to look at the business ... as know one to run it so will have to close it all down just sad after all the work I have done so if any one wants to buy any business stuff let me know.

I have sorted out the people to help in the house in looking after me and Sydney so thats really good. I will promise to write everyday upto the op and then there will be a break and it will start when I am contious after the op.

Today off to see the consultant and sometime this week will be having pre op assesment... So tyding things up and writing letters before I go in.

Keep reading will be back soon

after last 16 hour chemo

Felling OK today just tired as lack of sleep and the incredible toilet trip keep you on a continuous treadmill. Well yesterdays event cannula went in well yesterday so things went very well. I was planning to finish and close my report file for last year but it did not happen HELP ..... One thing I am not coping very well with is that things I was able to do easily now take me forever.  A little celebration and cake at the hospital for Dani's 19th Birthday . Sydney is being a star at school and a comic as usual. The lady that does the tea/coffee and meals popped in the room while I was in with the Doctor and Jerry and said was it OK if she gave my niece some Jelly well , she said it was because I looked so young not convinced but better than being her grandmother. The Doctor said I wonder how she would look and feel after all the chemo.

It was great to see some friends this week brilliant , really made my day.......went to friends for dinner on Saturday another great evening. You really begin to know who your friends are and who cares and I now I have a lot of those.

Well last chemo today then heads up for op. I am hoping to show my face at the CA day tomorrow if well enough just whether I drive or what to do. Preparations for Dani and uni all completed she goes this Saturday I will miss her and not sure how to manage but in my true fashion I will.

My brain and body feels absolutely fuddled, but as chemo kills cells its to be expected. I am just finding it hard to even read a book.....but I am sure it will all improve and things are moving in the right direction.

Thats all for now thak you for reading and please continue xxx Natalie